I've Been Avoiding Posting.

Last infusion was suck-tastic. Like...really suck-tastic.
Apparently, I have developed a horrible chemotherapy-related association. The smell of those awful alcohol swabs they used to disinfect the ends of my port catheter make me so sick that even thinking about the smell makes me want to vomit. They had to use extremely strong drugs this time in order to curb my queasiness. Let's just say that I awoke 4 or 5 hours later; at home, in bed... Now anything with alcohol in it just makes me want to ralph. *sigh*

Bills are finally beginning to roll in and I'm stressing about being able to pay for everything so, I applied for disability benefits. Apparently, because I am young, I have not worked enough years to collect benefits. (You can thank Mom and Dad for not letting me work in high school!) Now I have to drag my sick ass down to the disability/social security office and meet with them in person and try to cajole them into helping me out financially. Let me tell you that applying for disability services and financial support is no walk in the park. Everything, EVERYTHING must be documented and no mistakes can be made about the specifics of your condition, when you became unable to work and how "sick" you are. They even ask if you if you're going to die eventually from your condition as if they were asking what you ate for lunch. How morbid, right? Also, they're very suspicious of people who were born outside of the United States, even if you're on paper an American citizen. (As many of you know, I was born as an American in Germany)It was like the disability benefits rep didn't believe I was a citizen; giving me the freaking 20 questions... Uhm, hello? Birth certificate. Just look. Anyone who thinks that non-citizen residents can "easily get" these benefits is wrong. It is not easy, even for someone with a legitimate reason to need benefits and the citizenship to qualify.

On top of all of this is the fact that my memory has gone to shit. I forget things really easily, like if you tell me a couple of numbers or tell me to go get something from the store, I can't recall what it is you told me. It drives me nuts! I've basically resorted to writing everything down.