Yeah I feel the same way...Ugh, I swear...if I have to get another bandage after chemo session number 2 on Wednesday, I am going to try to talk the nurses out of it. The whole area where they had placed and removed bandages was angry and irritated for two whole weeks. Now that it is healing (the incision from the port placement and the bandage removal) is itching like HELL. The whole area is still bruised from the surgery too, so my unconscious impulse to start itching sends me rolling on the floor in pain. The lovely systemic itching symptoms have not returned after my first chemo, thankfully. However, my random Hodge- chest/back pains are here to stay, but I admit, they are much less frequent.
So, the fam came to visit and we have been going out to eat lots, not to mention the fact that my mom is a holiday fudge-making fiend! Eating is still a challenge. Chemo has the wonderful effect of zapping your appetite and making even your fave foods smell like the sewer. One of four possible scenarios usually occurs: 1) I feel like shit and don't want to eat..so I don't 2) I was genuinely hungry, ate what I wanted and now feel like throwing up 3)I don't feel like eating but haven't eaten since yesterday night and I know I need to so, I do and then I feel like throwing up OR 4) Holy shit! I'm actually hungry, I ate, now I feel okay. Not great, but average. Eating a BBQ Chicken Wrap at Red Robin, greasy Mongolian Beef Chinese take-out or a Teriyaki Burger from Carl's Jr. are probably not the best choices, but when the fam needs to eat, that's that! Ah, gone are the days of vegetarianism...
You know what I dream about constantly? Going completely organic, fair trade and eating mostly raw foods. I am just not in an enviornment that supports that unfortunately. I do not trust myself to choose that over what lies around the house all day. My mind goes through all of the justifications for not taking the big step forward, some of which are legitimate and NOT just excuses. My biggest concern is that I'm broke! I'm living in my parents' spare bedroom. I am not in a place to spend that kind of money nor am I in a position to ask them to spend that kind of money on groceries. Maybe I should volunteer to do the grocery shopping, so I can start buying the kinds of foods that appeal to me/are organic instead of conventionally grown?
In other news: Rosie (also known as Rosalita) is being admitted to the Teddy Bear Hospital. Her fur is dingy and dirty, she needs more stuffing and her eye is starting to fall out. I am too scared to wash her at home. I have bad memories of a stuffed cat that fell in a mud puddle and was not the same after the washing machine. So, I've decided to hire a professional. I hope that she will return from her hospital stay well-stuffed, clean and like a brand new Rosie! I haven't heard from the teddy bear doc yet, but we're waiting. So far, her damage is minimal, so no major surgery!
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