The day of my biopsy with Dr. D, I had a pretty difficult time waking up in the morning. Needless to say, I was grumpy as hell that I had to do a second surgery and had to be there at the crack of dawn no less. But I was good and showered with this special medical grade soap designed to cut back on the germs and bacteria that like to hang out on your skin and thereby reduce your risk of getting an infection. After I showered and put on my sweatpants, my mom braided my hair and we left for the hospital.
Once we arrived, I checked in at the front counter. Because my insurance is a POS, I had to pay $1450.00 up-front before I could be prep'ed for surgery. (My parents were able to cover me in that respect, so they get some props!) They strapped a fancy blue wrist band on me and a separate bright red bracelet that read, "ALLERGY!" in bold black letters; I guess to remind folks that are dumb enough to forget to check my chart.
They took me into an outpatient surgical room and had me pee in a cup to prove that I'm not pregnant and had me change into one of those sexy hospital gowns that don't close properly. It was really cold and when I asked for another blanket, the nurse returned with a weird hose thing, which she hooked up into a wall and then sort've "plugged" into my futuristic hospital gown. It has a little vent for a hot air hose that delivers heat directly to the skin (and it came with a nifty remote control!). Soon, a nurse came in to start my IV. I always recommend that they start a line in my left arm fold (where your elbow is). I swear, he must have been the WORST nurse I've ever had. The IV insertion hurt like hell because he gave me a shot of lidocaine before inserting the IV, which is supposed to make the area numb. The unfortunate side effect of lodcaine is stinging at the injection site, so my arm was killing me the whole time. When he came back to check the line, he said that it wasn't "dripping properly", so he took it out and jammed a new line into my left hand. Of course, using the lidocaine. It hurt WAY more in my hand than it did in my arm and stung like hell. Moreover, he kept messing around with it to make sure it was dripping properly. What did you think was going to happen when you don't let me eat or drink for 12 hours?! I will be slightly dehydrated, don't you think?! Despite the stinging, I was fine; annoyed, but fine.
Later, Dr. D came in to talk to me and mark the area to be biopsied with a surgical pen. Then the anesthesiologist, who are my best friends during these times, gave me a big ole dose of injectable Valium to reduce anxiety. This was a wonderdrug. I did not care about a thing in the world and frankly, the world was spinning and my eyelids were heavy. I felt extremely relaxed and sleepy and when it came time to go to the OR, I didn't care either. They helped me onto the OR counter and they placed an oxygen mask on me. The anesthesiologist came over to my IV and asked me to start taking deep breaths. I don't remember blacking out; in fact, I remember distinctly thinking to myself, "Why am I not unconscious yet?" and then after that, everything is blank. I guess the drugs are slightly amnesic and I did, eventually, black out.
I heard things before I saw things; the coming and going of people, the beeps of heart monitors, the rolling wheels of carts and hospital beds, the scuffling of nurse's shoes. I heard people talking to me and asking me questions, but I was still unable to open my eyes. When I finally awoke, I was in much more pain than when I awoke after the CT biopsy. My neck was sore and stiff and all of my limbs felt like they were tied down with weights. It felt like a long time had passed before I was able to open my eyes. The first thing I saw was the nurse bringing water and of course, pudding and crackers. They held a cup of water to my lips and urged me to drink. Another nurse came by with an ice pack and put it on my left shoulder, cradled into my neck over the incision. After I had woken up a little, I was taken to another room via wheelchair and put into a special recliner that lifts the legs up. I was given a good hour to recover and then had my IV removed and given my discharge papers. The nurses insisted that they wheel me out in a wheel chair. I felt a little stupid and I found myself wondering if I really needed it.
No comments:
Post a Comment