I've been noticing some post-treatment side effects. The docs said that I should expect it, but hey, a gal can dream, right?
In addition to this LOVELY consolation prize... (yeah thats a keloid scar where my port used to be)
I get a random a dry cough. YAY! Nothing can be done about it, seeing has how my lung tissue has been scarred. Also, the color of my skin between my shoulders is now a slightly different tint than the skin that didn't get radiated. It's in this lovely box-like shape that will never go away. You know that tiny sheen of peach fuzz normal human beings sometimes have on their necks (well, people without facial hair)? Where they radiated my throat and chest the hair follicles died. I now have this really neat and visibly obvious pattern where hair clearly grows and does not grow. Great...partial allopecia of the neck hair. Why couldn't they have radiated my upper lip instead? Starting to look like Frida Khalo; although...that might not be a bad thing?
Ohhhh yes. And the fatigue and insomnia patterns. The energy levels have definitely improved, but I don't think I will ever be the same old Susie as I was before. I have racing thoughts sometimes and then there are other times when you couldn't drag me out of bed even if there was a fire or my thesis got accidentally shredded.
I swear, its like my body has never given me the chance to just be healthy and normal looking...ever. I'm going to be one of those people that always has something going on with their bodies, always some new fangled medication or surgery that I need to get. In searching for advice for surgery procedures, I've seen some of the biggest whiners. Granted, they've probably never been through what I had to go through, so I give them some credit, but COME ON! Crying about wisdom teeth removal and fear of "not waking up" after the procedure?!??!
If I could give them just a couple of moments of my time, I'd tell them about the great chest device I had INSTALLED INTO MY NECK AND HEART and the wonderful "pulling" sensation I remember WHILE I WAS AWAKE FOR THE PROCEDURE. It's a sensation that, when reminiscing, sends icky chills down my spine and gives me goosebumps. I would have given anything to have my wisdom teeth removed instead of this whole, oh you know, cancer thing. I'm not trying to knock people's fears, but seriously folks, they give you a pill and you forget the whole thing. A few hours later, you wake-up on your couch with reruns of Seinfeld blaring in the fuzzy background that is your consciousness. Plus you get to eat all sorts of yummy pureed things whereas with cancer, you'd be lucky to get down a half a can of Ensure.
Let's see, I also have these broken capillaries underneath my eyelids that give off a blackish/yellow tinge as a result of chemo. Usually I cover them up with a brightener, but still...another great long-term side effect. My nails are also ridiculously brittle and like to peel. I have to keep them constantly painted to prevent the chipping or breaking from getting too serious. Similarly, my skin feels like it will never get moisturized. I drink lots of water, exfoliate and moisturize at home, but it will never feel the same. *sigh* I just wish I could be a normal human being and not like a medical experiment gone terribly wrong.
Oh, random fact about ABVD treatment. I can NEVER go scuba diving or mountain climbing for the rest of my life. Apparently, being exposed to one of these drugs makes using oxygen intense devices like scuba gear dangerous and poses a risk to blowing up my lung or something equally as horrendous!
Ahhhh yes, cancer: The gift that keeps on giving.
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