First PET Scan: 2 Year Mark?

Helloooo my faithful followers,

I am sorry that I've neglected this blog for so long! I've been quite busy finishing up my first year of my doctoral program. You know the routine: long hours; copious amounts of caffeine; mindless grading..

As I mentioned in a prior post, I found a new oncologist where I live and now I'm scheduled for my first follow-up PET scan this Tuesday.

I am. so. nervous.

I know that this is normal, but I won't be able to relax until I'm done with this gigantic hurdle. PET scans are my absolute least favorite procedure ever. The last time I underwent a PET scan, I didn't take the getting-comfortable-stage seriously and ended up being in so much pain for the whole 60 minutes that I was expected to lie completely still. I was in tears by the end of the procedure and I was soooo hungry and tired. You're not allowed to eat anything for 6-8 hours prior to the procedure in order to "starve" your cellular tissue. The PET scan tracer is a radioactive sugar solution. Cancer cells metabolize much more quickly than normal cellular tissue and therefore will "glow" in the resulting images. Getting the solution injected into you is a really, really weird process... Since the nurses do not want to be exposed to the radioactive material, the syringe is encased in a strange metal casing (see above). It kind of looks like having a caulking gun attached to your IV. Weird.

I am just so afraid of having cancer again. I know that this a natural feeling that all cancer survivors experience, but it all feels so real and imminent shortly before a scan. I've been so focused on my work that I haven't had time to really take stock of how my body feels and think through how I'm feeling about the impending scan. I am wanting certainty that this will never happen to me again, but I know that there are no guarantees in life, especially with cancer.

Of all the things to be annoyed and anxious about, I'm annoyed about the process of having to get my IV and abstain from food and caffeine. No diet coke for 12 hours. I don't know if I'll make it! I also really, really hate the feeling of having the IV placed in my arm. Totally cool with collecting blood, but letting it linger in there still gives me the skeevies even after having a power port in my heart/chest for nearly a year. Thinking about that port just...ugh. Gross. Yuck. No.

I remember telling my oncologist that I didn't care that it would be "convenient" to have my port still in my chest if my cancer came back. I wanted that thing OUT...ASAP. If he wasn't going to remove it, I threatened to do it myself. That was the probably the single most disgusting and uncomfortable thing I have ever endured. I am determined for this to never happen to me again.

I'll keep you all updated on the results of my PET scan!